if what you have just read isn't funny, then I am not a comedian in your eyes. Bugger..

 I know I rock at this and if you watch my testimonials you'll agree. If you don't then should you be the booking person?

I hated auctions because they used to be about who has the biggest d***/wallet in the room. My goal is to not only garner the most $$ from the room (AKA fleece) but at the same time entertain the whole room, not just the 6 paddle/hand-up punters showing off. Auctions are still part of the nights' entertainment in my eyes.

time to brag.. I've toured the globe with Sir Vivian Richards, Joe Bugner, Bill Oddie and The Goodies (so much love), Campo through the UK where he is a god (I love Campo, get to know him personally and you'll love him too), Chopper Read (sleepless nights!). Met Muhammad Ali, Willie Nelson and many others. Whilst living, working and studying in Austin, Texas I've had the pleasure of having Dallas Cowboys Pro Football Hall of Famer Troy Aikman tell me to 'fuck off' at a fraternity party. I was an honorary member of the Delta Tau Delta chapter house in 1997, brushed shoulders with Matthew McConaughhey, a fellow Alumni; and drunkenly snogged Sandra Bullock! Ask her, it was a wild party on Lake Austin that she forgot very quickly when I arrived at her mansion the next day to move in. Read the room Unrootable Karcher! If my wife reads this, we only snogged!

Every gig I attend I make sure all facets - kitchen, AV, stage, seating etc - run to the itinerary. I consider that my responsibility as the MC of the event

Yes I have put the money up to bring Viv Richards, Brian Lara, Bill Oddie, Ambrose and Walsh, The Angels and many others to venues, clubs and pubs across Australia, the south pacific and Asia

$26m+ and counting for local causes and charities